It's about life
by sweetscgurly
Summary: When Emma's worst fears are confirmed, what will she do? JayXEmma
1. Chapter 1

Emma was rubbing her stomach trying to sooth the kicks of her unborn baby girl. She was due in a couple of weeks and it seemed all she could think about was Sean. Sean had

decided that the Army was the best thing for them and their baby. He was deployed shortly after Emma found out she was pregnant. Sean called as often as he could and the five

minutes they talked seemed to last an hour. Emma knew the dangers of war and feared for Sean.

Emma sat on the porch of his mother's house in the swing trying to ease her mind of all the worries she had to deal with. It was around noon and there were two black cars

pulling into the driveway. She thought that it was odd because she had never seen them before. And then out came 3 gentlemen in army formal dress uniform. No…not

happening…and then out came the Chaplin and she knew. She called for Sean's mother. She came running out and realized what was happening and started to cry. Emma

realized the three men that came to her house. Spinner, Toby, and Jay. They had all joined together and had bonded throughout the course of their basic training and being

deployed. They all told each other that if anything ever happened to them that they wanted them to tell their wives or girlfriends and promised to take care of them. So, when they

learned of Sean's death, they knew what they had to do and their duty to Sean must be upheld. Emma was in a state of shock, she was scared and angry.

After a while, the Chaplin left. Jay, Spinner and Toby explained that Sean's convoy had been attacked and bombed. Emma just sat there quietly. His mom was hysterical but f

inally pulled it together. She knew she had to be strong for Emma and being that she was pregnant made things so much worse. Mrs. Cameron and Spinner and Toby walked

into the kitchen to get some drinks. Emma looked at Jay and started to cry. Jay came to her side to comfort her. Jay was hurting badly for the loss of his best friend as well. Jay

grabbed Emma and held her. Emma sank into his chest and cried, She was so scared and hurt. How is she supposed to do this on her own. She was prepared to give birth

without Sean there but she was not prepared for all the moments that Sean will never get to see. She did not want to be alone.

When Mrs. Cameron, Toby and Spinner came back in the room and saw Emma hysterical, they all lost it. They cried for hours and finally it was time for Toby, Spinner and Jay

to leave. As they were leaving, she thanked them for everything and all three assured that they will take care of her and that they would be helping her through all of the challenges

ahead. She walked them to the car and as jay was about to get in, Jay looked at her and said I will be here for you and your little girl and you can count on me. Sean was my

best friend and I made a promise to him and I am going to honor it. All Emma could do was nod and thank him for everything.

Later on that night, after Mrs. Cameron had went to bed, Emma sat on the porch and tried to sort everything out. She hated to admit it, but she kind of prepared herself for this

and even though she was devastated she knew she had to go on living and take care of their little girl. Before Sean left, he told her that he had arranged the will so that Emma

would be taken care of and Sean also told her that if anything ever happened to him that he wanted her to keep on living and try to move on because he would always be with

her. Emma sat and cried. She did not know how to do this. Sean was gone and Emma wanted him back, but know that it was not going to happen this way. She knew what

Sean wanted her to do and she intended to make him happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Emma had got some composure, she decided to go back to her and Sean's apartment. Emma cried all night long. When she wasn't crying for Sean she was crying for her baby. She was devastated that Sean would not be able to see their little girl's firsts. First word, first step, first coo and that alone killed Emma. She knew that with her upcoming due date and with her having to now plan Sean's funeral, Emma knew that the upcoming weeks would be the hardest ever. She couldn't imagine how to go about planning a funeral. This was going to be so hard. She had to stop and breathe and try to step back from everything due to the fact that she was due in just a few days. She hadn't slept all night long and was a little tired so she decided to lie down for a while. She started to drift away from the stress, when she heard the doorbell ring. She wasn't expecting anyone. To her surprise, it was Jay.

(Earlier in the Day)

Jay was worried about Emma. He knew that stress was not good for her right now. He had to see her. He wanted to be there for Emma. He was trying to concentrate on completing his daily tasks at base but all he could seem to come back to was worrying about Emma, he knew that if he didn't check up on her he would go crazy!

(Back to Emma's Apartment)

Emma opened the door. She was surprised by Jay's appearance. They sat down on the couch. "I wanted to come by and make sure that you are ok, or at least coping", Jay said. Emma looked at Jay, "I just can not believe that he is gone and I am alone and pregnant. I don't want to be alone. I don't know how to live this way", Emma said. Jay looked at Emma and asked her, "If you need me, I'm here. I will help in anyway possible", Jay said. Emma knew Jay was sincere so she told him, "Will you just help me all together, with everything?" Jay accepted, "You got it, every step of the way I'm there".

Emma and Jay sat and talked and talked for hours. Before they realized it, it was time for Jay to return to base. Jay said goodbye to Emma, not wanting to leave her there alone but had to return. Emma was starting to realize that Jay was somewhat dedicated to being there for her as well as they baby. When she re-entered the apartment she knew what she must start to do. Get Sean's things together and put them into storage. She wondered how she was going to do this and realized that if she didn't do it soon she would just avoid it and it would never get done and she wanted Sean to be proud of her for coping so well and making an effort to adjust. Sean had said before he left, that if something should happen to him, he wanted her to try to move on and such. She wondered how she was going to do this. She decided that tomorrow she would start to plan the worst part of it all, the funeral.

----Ok Im sorry this chapter is kind of blah but the next one will be a tear jerker and ill post two chapters tomorrow---REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!---


	3. Chapter 3

Emma did not want to do what she had to do today. She had to make funeral arrangements for Sean. She had dreaded this for days, but she knew that it had to be done. She finally threw herself out of the bed and got dressed. She called Sean's mother and said that she would be there in an hour to go to pick out Sean's casket and make the arrangements for where he would be buried. She got dressed and was on her way. When she got to Sean's mother's house, she went inside to get her and knew that this was going to be hard on the both of them.

When they arrived at the funeral home, they were greeted by man who was tall and lanky looking. They discussed the arrangements. Since the funeral was military, they would do the tradition of shooting the guns and so on, so they decided that it would be best to have the funeral at graveside. Emma started to feel as if this was all a dream. She could not understand how one minute Sean was there and the next he was gone. She started to get upset and Sean's mother comforted her and told her to walk outside and she would take care of the rest. She thanked her and walked outside.

She was relieved to be out of there. She needed to step back from all of this to re evaluate what was happening. Why was this happening to her? How was she going to raise a baby on her own? Who was going to help support her and the child. With only a few days left until her due date, she knew that she had to stay as calm as possible due to the fact that too much stress can induce the labor. Finally, Sean's mother came out with an itinerary of how things had been planned. They reviewed the sheet and saw the date of the funeral in big bold format. She dreaded this.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the night before the funeral and Emma was trying to prepare herself for the absolute worst day of her life. This whole ordeal was overwhelming for Emma and it did not help that she was expecting her first child in 2 days and the fact that she could be going into labor at any given moment between now and then really didn't help. She wanted so badly to not have to bury Sean. She more than anything wanted him back. She missed his eyes, his touch everything about him she missed but she wanted to make him proud so she knew that over time she would learn to try and move on. She knew it would the most difficult thing. Sean was all she had ever known. She was dreading the funeral. She knew this would be the hardest thing she would ever have to face. She tried to lay down and realized that she could not sleep. Everything was planned and ready for the funeral. Sean's last will and testament had been taken care of and divided. She had packed up al of Sean's clothes and belongings and put them into storage. She left out pictures of him. She gazed at the pictures. She didn't know what to do with herself. She decided to take a walk. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she had to go. She started to walk. She walked and walked until she ended up at the ravine. Being there brought back so many memories, Good and Bad. She remembered when she was younger and she and Sean cleaned the ravine together and how they were so young and in love. She also remembered when her and Jay were hooking up. She had mixed emotions about those infamous days. She learned so much and at one point had fallen for Jay but then realized that it wasn't right between the two of them, But now, Jay had changed. He straightened up his life and went into the Army. She kept walking and thinking about her life. The good and the bad. She thought about how she was going to handle all of this. She was turning a corner when she bumped into Jay. "Emma, it is so good to see you.", Jay said. "You too.", Emma said. There was an awkward silence and neither of them knew what to say. "When are you due?", Jay asked. "I have two more days till my due date, but I could go up to two weeks over my due date but who knows.", Emma said. "You are coming to the funeral right?", Emma asked. "Yes, you shouldn't even have to ask, do you want me to walk with you tomorrow?" Jay knew that tomorrow was going to be very emotional for everyone and he was willing to help Emma in anyway possible. Emma thought for a second and said "Yes, be with me every step of the way." Emma was starting to realize what tomorrow would be like. "Jay, I am scared of all of this, being alone, giving birth without Sean there, raising a child without Sean this is all scaring me." Jay looked at Emma and said " I'll be there when you need me." "Sean told me before the accident that if anything happened to him he wanted me to make sure to take care of you and that is what I plan on doing." Emma looked at him with awe. "I can't believe how much you have changed over the years, what happened to the jerk I used to hang with?" "The Jerk realized that life doesn't last for ever and it is too short to take everything for granted the way that I used too.", Jay said. They walked and talked for about another thirty minutes and Emma realized that it was really late and she needed to get home. "I guess that I better get home and try and sleep.", Emma said. "Yeah me too, what time should I be at your house?", Jay asked trying not to sound to forward. Emma looked at him and said "10 am". "See you tomorrow".


	5. Chapter 5

It was here. The day that she had dreaded to live. She knew that what she was about to do was one of the most hardest things ever. Burying Sean had become a nightmare to her. She had to force herself out of the bed and as soon as she stood up she felt nauseated. Just then, she became overwhelmed with nausea. She ran to the bathroom and collapsed on the floor. She vomited for a half hour. When she felt strong enough to start getting dressed, she prepared for the funeral. Black dress, flat shoes because her feet were swollen she could not wear heels, and she wore the pearls that Sean had given her for Christmas. She tried to make herself look presentable but because she kept crying she decided that makeup was a lost cause. Her heart was hearting or more so aching, but she had to pull it together somewhat. After she got dressed, she felt knots in her stomach. The baby was kicking. "Easy there, everything is ok." Emma tried to calm the baby by rubbing her stomach and then she looked in the mirror. She saw herself and realized that this was too much for her to handle but knew she had to do this. Do it for Sean. So, she marched downstairs and clasping to a handful of Kleenex. She was absolutely petrified. As she was walking down the stairs, there stood Jay, in full army attire. She was trying to hold her composure but, as soon as she reached Jay, she lost it. "I can't do this, I am not strong enough to handle this," Jay held her and then looked at her and said, "You are strong Emma Nelson, you can do this, and just remember that Sean is watching over you and the baby and you are Greenpeace." Emma smirked with tears streaming down her face. Emma realized that she had no choice, she had to do this. So, Emma, Jay and Sean's mom left to the church. On the way to the cemetery, flashbacks played throughout Emma's head of all the memories her and Sean had made together. From their first kiss to Emma being pregnant their was so much history and now their would be no more. No more double cheese pizza movie nights, no more double dates with Manny and all her men, no more memories. The worst part of it all is that he wouldn't be there for the birth of their one and only child. She was in shambles. How was she going to deal? When they finally arrived at the cemetery, Emma was barely able to get out of the car. She was crying and shaking so Jay and Manny helped her out of the car. They walked over to the chairs together and sat. The funeral began and to Emma it seemed so surreal. The preacher said a few words and then a song was performed and then it was time for the firing of the guns and the presentation of the flag. Jay, Spinner and Toby walked to Sean's casket, took the flag and folded it and presented it to Sean's mom. By now, they both were torn in pieces. This was so hard for them. As Sean's mother received the flag, she paused and gave it to Emma and said "You should keep this, your baby deserves to know what a hero her father was." And with that Emma gently received the flag and clutched on to it for dear life and cried, Jay came to Emma and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. By the end of the service, they had regained some composure and thanked everyone for coming. Emma wasn't ready to say goodbye but knew she had to. After everyone had cleared out or away form the cemetery she asked Jay to wait for her at the car. Sean's mom had left with some friends and went back to her house. So, Jay walked by Sean's casket and said "I love you and miss ya man" and went to the car. Emma walked to the casket and said, "Sean, I love you with all my heart and am trying my hardest to deal with this. You are my love. I know you want me to be strong, but it is so hard and I am so scared to be alone but everything I do from now on, I will always remember you and love you. You have been my everything and now that your gone, a part of me is gone. But, I know you want me to try and move on from this and no matter what I do, I will always love you and our child and I will visit you as much as possible. She will no that you wee her father and you were a hero. I love you Sean always and forever." When Emma said her goodbyes, she walked up to the casket and kissed it and put a red rose on the top and she left. When she reached the car, she hugged Jay and just collapsed into his arms. She cried and cried. Jay held her and persuaded her to get into the car as he realized that they were lowering his casket into the ground. He knew Emma didn't need to see that so he got her into the car and drove back to Emma's. When they reached Emma's, they walked inside together and Emma went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Jay followed. When they were sitting at the table, they began to talk. " Do you need anything from the store or pharmacy or anything at all from anywhere?", Jay asked eager to help her. She said "No". She said, "I don't want to be here in this house alone, I am so scared how do I live on my own, I have a baby on the way, what am I going to do?", Jay reassured her and told her that he was going to be there for her, but what she really wanted was for Sean to be here for her, but she knew that wouldn't happen so she accepted Jay's proposal. With that being said, Emma decided she would go to bed being that she needed her rest for the upcoming arrival of the baby. They said their good nights and jay spent the night on the couch. Emma had been asleep for a couple of hours but Jay could not sleep, so he decided to watch TV. He put it on some late night show and started to watch it. He heard something creaking down the stairs and when he realized that it was Emma, he was kind of relived that it wasn't a burglar or something. Emma sat on the couch and began to watch with him.


End file.
